I do this regularly. A lot of these spontaneous best friendships are fleeting, though, as we seldom keep in touch. Or even exchange numbers. But I sure enjoy them in the moment.
Yes I see you as someone skilled in this arena—to show up open to a new connection and possibility. Its a good life lived that way I think. And we only really have the moment, right? We can keep choosing more moments like it, but its like storytelling. One image at a time. So nice to see you here, best friend!
Here's an experiment that will make all writers uncomfortable: what if you just took it as your own quote? I mean, someone probably already said it already anyway, right? So what if you consume it, metabolize it and then just ... say it without reference. Not fully a recommendation at present, but a question. I know intellectual property is a thing. I have IP on almost 1500 stories, and I'm writing a dissertation riddled with citations, but then I wonder to myself, "I own my writing? I own these stories?" What does that even mean? Sure, it means that someone can't transcribe, print and sell the story I wrote as their own. But I wonder about stories and property. It confuses me. Something doesn't fit.
Ha ha, so much fun. I appreciate where this thought is coming from and your essential generosity David. And I think you're right that stories really aren't a "thing' that can be owned. But a storyteller is an individual who has practiced the art of representing that non-thing well, which is no small feat. As you know, you are such a person—skilled at being transparent to the story process, and that's worth celebrating and acknowledging. I love attributing quotes to author's like you, because it allows me to praise and celebrate those who have the gift of story midwiving. Then someone else who reads what I write may read you too, which multiplies the quality of the collective conversation exponentially, many times over. And I believe we're both here for that kind of math. I actually really like this part of the game—commenting, praising, attributing, even though there is essentially no property to claim. So now this has become an explicit compliment. Which makes it a story. I love the mood of your suggested experiment and your experimental mindset in general. Just for the fun of it, I'll suggest another experiment that makes some writers uncomfortable. Which is just to say "thank you" when someone gives them a compliment. : )
Being ascribed with "the gift of story midwiving" is tall praise friend. Thank you!
Now one for you: I am grateful for the care you regularly offer me. I feel seen and appreciated and I deeply trust you. And my guess is that you offer this generosity to many others - I see this as a superpower. A creator of community!
I appreciate your interrogating the impulse that you can’t just pick someone at random, it has to be sacred and earned. And yet our childhood best friends were by necessity created randomly by fate (proximity, parental choice of clubs/churches/neighborhoods, age cohort). Perhaps the difficulty arises in wanting to retain the attachment and build a history with a best friend.
I do the common story thing with people often but I’d never framed it as that--I like the idea of creating the narrative just by being vulnerable and kind.
Yes! It was seemingly random how we found our first best friend. Charlie lived next door. He was the closest person to me. Geographically. And yes, my memory is that you are very skilled at finding the common story. My guess is that you make best friends often - but maybe don't use that terminology. I'm starting to just call it that. I even say, "Hey can we be best friends?" like a four year old to a stranger who has a toy I like. So far everyone has said yes.
Of course they have! You radiate a very calm and serene acceptance; it's one of the things I remember so vividly from when we first met...THIRTY YEARS AGO, my dude! My best friend from ~ 2-12 was Portia; she was next door for most of that time and we drifted peacefully into different circles but I was so lucky to have her in my life in the way that I did. She comprises nearly all my best childhood memories.
I do this regularly. A lot of these spontaneous best friendships are fleeting, though, as we seldom keep in touch. Or even exchange numbers. But I sure enjoy them in the moment.
Yes I see you as someone skilled in this arena—to show up open to a new connection and possibility. Its a good life lived that way I think. And we only really have the moment, right? We can keep choosing more moments like it, but its like storytelling. One image at a time. So nice to see you here, best friend!
"Compliments are short and very potent stories." : ) I am going to quote you using this line in my next article. Love it!
Here's an experiment that will make all writers uncomfortable: what if you just took it as your own quote? I mean, someone probably already said it already anyway, right? So what if you consume it, metabolize it and then just ... say it without reference. Not fully a recommendation at present, but a question. I know intellectual property is a thing. I have IP on almost 1500 stories, and I'm writing a dissertation riddled with citations, but then I wonder to myself, "I own my writing? I own these stories?" What does that even mean? Sure, it means that someone can't transcribe, print and sell the story I wrote as their own. But I wonder about stories and property. It confuses me. Something doesn't fit.
Ha ha, so much fun. I appreciate where this thought is coming from and your essential generosity David. And I think you're right that stories really aren't a "thing' that can be owned. But a storyteller is an individual who has practiced the art of representing that non-thing well, which is no small feat. As you know, you are such a person—skilled at being transparent to the story process, and that's worth celebrating and acknowledging. I love attributing quotes to author's like you, because it allows me to praise and celebrate those who have the gift of story midwiving. Then someone else who reads what I write may read you too, which multiplies the quality of the collective conversation exponentially, many times over. And I believe we're both here for that kind of math. I actually really like this part of the game—commenting, praising, attributing, even though there is essentially no property to claim. So now this has become an explicit compliment. Which makes it a story. I love the mood of your suggested experiment and your experimental mindset in general. Just for the fun of it, I'll suggest another experiment that makes some writers uncomfortable. Which is just to say "thank you" when someone gives them a compliment. : )
Being ascribed with "the gift of story midwiving" is tall praise friend. Thank you!
Now one for you: I am grateful for the care you regularly offer me. I feel seen and appreciated and I deeply trust you. And my guess is that you offer this generosity to many others - I see this as a superpower. A creator of community!
That makes me very glad to hear David. Thanks returned.
I appreciate your interrogating the impulse that you can’t just pick someone at random, it has to be sacred and earned. And yet our childhood best friends were by necessity created randomly by fate (proximity, parental choice of clubs/churches/neighborhoods, age cohort). Perhaps the difficulty arises in wanting to retain the attachment and build a history with a best friend.
I do the common story thing with people often but I’d never framed it as that--I like the idea of creating the narrative just by being vulnerable and kind.
Yes! It was seemingly random how we found our first best friend. Charlie lived next door. He was the closest person to me. Geographically. And yes, my memory is that you are very skilled at finding the common story. My guess is that you make best friends often - but maybe don't use that terminology. I'm starting to just call it that. I even say, "Hey can we be best friends?" like a four year old to a stranger who has a toy I like. So far everyone has said yes.
Of course they have! You radiate a very calm and serene acceptance; it's one of the things I remember so vividly from when we first met...THIRTY YEARS AGO, my dude! My best friend from ~ 2-12 was Portia; she was next door for most of that time and we drifted peacefully into different circles but I was so lucky to have her in my life in the way that I did. She comprises nearly all my best childhood memories.