This really helped me understand what you mean by the container. Thanks! It is a concept I’ve been trying to understand. I think I won’t get it though until I truly have learned to use it. I’m starting with my leaky spots, especially time! I think approaching one problem at a time helps too.
Also, thanks for putting that song in my head! Ha! Being on a farm, I’ve sung this with my kids when they were little. It is a song about going around in circles with the same problem. It’s something I’ve been doing with this container story idea. Hopefully, I can start to fix it!
Sorry about the song - yes, it is sticky. This tool, the container, is continually evolving. i've learned so much from people who try it on and then adapt it to better suit. I am still learning what it is, but I do know it is important!
I agree with Barbara that this is very clear, but when it comes to implementing this, first of all, just as myself the habit and skill of stopping and getting the who, why, when, where and how long right is a big task all on its own. I feel I have developed some instinctual skill with getting those right sometimes, but not always. There are plenty of times I've misjudge one of those elements and it makes a mess. But to add in the idea that TWO people are getting this right together and agreeing on the container and the rules, that seems like a monumental undertaking. How do you support two people to learn to do that together? It seems like it would require a tremendous amount of practice.
Thank you as always for reflecting back the complexity, so that I can attempt to find simplicity. In my practice of the container, it is mostly for me. I need to be clear on what it is I am doing and why. And for me, I often include the mess into the container. In other words, clarity does not necessarily mean clean. Storytelling is as alive as fermenting cabbage and it will spill. It will stink and it will surprise you. So in order to find balance, I contain the mess by making room for it.
Now as for inviting the room into the container, I tend to gather around a wide set of rules. I recognize that people are busy and I am clear how long this is going to take. I even announce that I will talk for 20 minutes and then we'll have questions, or a conversation or end it. Whatever it is. I can always recontain, but I am a bit of a zealot when it comes to time. Nothing loses a room like going longer than they expected.
I also make sure in advance that we are all here for the same reason. If, after I begin, I see that there are people who are confused or unsettled or thought this was something else, then I try to "re-contain" and clarify.
I don't think it needs to be monumental. I think we simply honor that people's time, space and attention are precious—and to be treated with respect. I have no doubt that you do this.
Beautifully clarified, and yes, that all resonates with the way I've attempted to "contain" a conversation with a group myself. Your answer helps me to be able to consider making use of your original essay here in a loose way that allows room for the mess.
Very clear and helpful; clever, too!
This really helped me understand what you mean by the container. Thanks! It is a concept I’ve been trying to understand. I think I won’t get it though until I truly have learned to use it. I’m starting with my leaky spots, especially time! I think approaching one problem at a time helps too.
Also, thanks for putting that song in my head! Ha! Being on a farm, I’ve sung this with my kids when they were little. It is a song about going around in circles with the same problem. It’s something I’ve been doing with this container story idea. Hopefully, I can start to fix it!
Sorry about the song - yes, it is sticky. This tool, the container, is continually evolving. i've learned so much from people who try it on and then adapt it to better suit. I am still learning what it is, but I do know it is important!
I agree with Barbara that this is very clear, but when it comes to implementing this, first of all, just as myself the habit and skill of stopping and getting the who, why, when, where and how long right is a big task all on its own. I feel I have developed some instinctual skill with getting those right sometimes, but not always. There are plenty of times I've misjudge one of those elements and it makes a mess. But to add in the idea that TWO people are getting this right together and agreeing on the container and the rules, that seems like a monumental undertaking. How do you support two people to learn to do that together? It seems like it would require a tremendous amount of practice.
Thank you as always for reflecting back the complexity, so that I can attempt to find simplicity. In my practice of the container, it is mostly for me. I need to be clear on what it is I am doing and why. And for me, I often include the mess into the container. In other words, clarity does not necessarily mean clean. Storytelling is as alive as fermenting cabbage and it will spill. It will stink and it will surprise you. So in order to find balance, I contain the mess by making room for it.
Now as for inviting the room into the container, I tend to gather around a wide set of rules. I recognize that people are busy and I am clear how long this is going to take. I even announce that I will talk for 20 minutes and then we'll have questions, or a conversation or end it. Whatever it is. I can always recontain, but I am a bit of a zealot when it comes to time. Nothing loses a room like going longer than they expected.
I also make sure in advance that we are all here for the same reason. If, after I begin, I see that there are people who are confused or unsettled or thought this was something else, then I try to "re-contain" and clarify.
I don't think it needs to be monumental. I think we simply honor that people's time, space and attention are precious—and to be treated with respect. I have no doubt that you do this.
Beautifully clarified, and yes, that all resonates with the way I've attempted to "contain" a conversation with a group myself. Your answer helps me to be able to consider making use of your original essay here in a loose way that allows room for the mess.